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Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”I went out dressed like a chicken last night... ... and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken.What’s a 6.9?Another good thing screwed up by a period.What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.Two deer were leaving a gay. The captain made a face at him."Get rid a'them first," he said, "quietly." What brought this on?" I asked."More rapes, more farms burned down, more folks just slaughtered, butchered," the captain said, taking back his jug. "And they ain't taking prisoners neither." They holding any folks?" I asked."Part of the problem," he said. "We know one bunch, they got a mother and two daughters at the last place they hit. We don't know if they're still alive." Maybe we ought to go see a'fore we go in stabbing everything that moves," I suggested.Pretty soon everybody was looking at me, and the captain said he appreciated me volunteering and hoped I'd be back in a day or two so we could do the job and then move on to something else.I did not recall volunteering, but that night I found myself some twelve miles east, in the woods in sight of the orderly camp of this small jaeger company that had been raising hell, about thirty men we believed. I spent some time looking at the tents, one after the.
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